Today’s Crossfit Workout was named: “Drinking from the Firehose.” I’m not sure why, since there is no drinking and no creative use of a firehose as one of the exercises, but I like the name. It reminds me of a team rider we used to have.
We called him “The Little Pisser” because once when we were all in Brazil, he broke up a fight between the company’s namesake (Shannon) and another team rider (Bucky) by soaking the two of them with his … hose. He managed to survive the night without getting the crap beat out of him, but the next day, the owner of the company had a talk with him. “You can pee on Bucky all you want, but don’t pee on the Corporate Namesake.”
Since English was not The Little Pisser’s first language, he didn’t always understand everything on the first go-round, so we explained it further by saying, “Bucky, SI! Shannon, NO!” And to really drive the point home, we nodded our heads on the “Bucky, SI!” part, and shook our heads on the “Shannon, NO!” part.
To his credit, he never did pee on Shannon again, but he continued to pee on other people, if the rumours we heard were true, and we were pretty sure they were, based on what we’d witnessed in Brazil. So when we got a call one June morning from the organizers of an event he was attending, we kind of knew what the call was going to be about, before we even took the call.
As soon as the receptionist said, “Stacey, Matt from Real is on the phone for you, he wants to talk to you about Alvaro,” my co-worker, who had witnessed the Bucky SI/Shannon NO event, groaned and said, “Uh oh! Who’d he pee on now?”
And yep, that was exactly it. To quote a skype message I got soon after from The Lil Pisser himself (grammar mistakes intact): “I got kick out for pee on Slezak.”
I got kick out for pee on Slezak? Ha!
The event organizers called a taxi and had him kicked off the island within the hour (which seems a little extreme to me, in retrospect. It’s not like they owned the island. Kick him out of the event, fine. But off the island? To make it worse, they wanted ME to pay for the taxi. Had I not been so shocked that I was actually having to deal with such issues in my professional life, and by the letters of apology I would soon find myself writing … “I’m sorry that our team rider peed on your team rider” … I might have been thinking more clearly and would have actually made these points and stuck to them, but at the time, I just didn’t really have my wits about me.)
The funny part … although I thought the funny part had already happened, when Shannon and Bucky got peed on … was when, a couple of years later, we heard a rumour that The Little Pisser was training to be a fireman. How fitting! I can’t think of a more perfect career choice!
Anyway, here is one of the t-shirt ideas we came up with, that were inspired by these events: